Wow, was I high on octane today! I woke up, switched on my computer and did not look up until it was time for my evening jog. I was so engaged, I even forgot to eat. Got alot of work done - and this after having been up till 4.30am last night finishing a proposal. Unfortunately, I only get my A into G when the wolves are at the door - or in this case, the boss.It was a good proposal nonetheless and so inspired, I kept at it today.

Now, after having managed a 3km jog, am preparing for an early night for an early start tomorrow.

Some days, when I have very, very good working days, I completely forget I have cancer and that I am 'ill'. Still not, nyah nyah!

This is kinda risky though, because I still believe that this is a wake-up call and I need to be able to understand and interpret the call. So when I feel good and normal, I catch myself and force myself to slow down, and take a few meditative breaths. I am afraid that if I am too cavalier, God might put me through a recurrence just to get my attention again.

So, I am still waiting for...God. I play scenarios in my mind - perhaps I am meant to begin outreach for cancer patients? Perhaps I need to downshift my job? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. I am still convinced that God will show me the door when he is good and ready. On the other hand, I have been told that sometimes God needs to be told what you want. Right now, that's simple - to be cured. Oops, now that I have got that out of the way, other needs come screaming in - winning the Lotto for a start.

I catch myself again. Breathing...waiting...