Maybe it is because I am beginning to feel rather tired because of the radiation, but I am getting very pissed off at people lately. It is now the season for peace and joy, but in Singapore, we are so stressed, or in such a rush, that we do not take time out for the niceties of day to day life.

Having spent the last two years out of Singapore, and having had minimal contact with Singaporeans in general, I now have the opportunity to look at us from a new perspetive. I have realised that we could do with a lesson in common civilities - myself included. The directness of our communication, the lack of tact, of consideration, sometimes leaves alot to be desired.

We have been bashing service providers here in Singapore, criticising the poor service - and I am a prime culprit in the complain-about-service-staff department. But it also occurs to me that poor service has a couple of roots:

First of all, as a society, I think that most people here have not been brought up to expect common civilities and courtesies from family members. Our families have the right, most times, to tick us off, tell us when we look like crap - in as many wordss - or are acting like crap. Familiarity breeds, and all that. As our primary socialisation tool, the family environment is where bad behaviour is developed.

Second of all, Singaporeans are always in a tearing hurry and feel, for the most part, dis-empowered. The latter arises from the traditional authoritarian Asian society. So, when we do have power, it is not often wielded gently.(and no, I will not start complaining about the government here!).

Taken together, these two elements build a society that is a little rough around the edges, to say the least. So, where there is poor service, I reckon sometimes there are poor customers. In my experience, courtesy begets courtesy.

As families get together, let's try not to criticise Aunty Maisie's loud voice, Uncle Sam's miserly ways, the screaming kids. Let's try to eat and appreciate the meals on offer with an attitude of gratitude, instead of comparing one roast turkey recipe against another, and moaning about the crap food someone else served in Christmasses past. And if someone has a specific food request, let's try to accommodate rather than simply producing a dish because that's what you want to eat.

And where is it written that only kids get Christmas presents?!!!!! Why not try to actually give everyone something, rather than forking out cash, or a bottle of booze? Besides boosting the economy, it will start us thinking about - and giving - to one another. It does not have to cost alot, just mean something.

I remember Christmas when I was a kid, when we had the tree, the carolling, the festive food, the family gatherings when we all got together and caught up. It was a special time. Now, I see around me people who just think Christmas is a trial, and do not bother to give their kids the full Christmas treatment. A trip out of town is more likely, rather than prioritising a family get together. The wider relationship element, and the real meaning of Christmas, to me encompassing values our kids need to learn, is lacking here.

Now that I am macrobiotic, the food bit is out of the question, which leaves the people element - uh oh!

Just once during the year, can't we pretend - ok, call me an idealistic fool! - we are in a Doris Day movie and just practice being nice, polite and sociable...please? Adn boy, if we can manage that one day out of the year, can we try to extend this to the other days that come after?